We often get lost in negative thinking. Sometimes we “ruminate” on these negative thoughts—that is, we go over and over them in our heads and we get stuck.
We may be stuck on what we should have done in the past, or things we wish we wouldn’t have done, or we may beat ourselves up about things we don’t like about ourselves. We may get stuck in feelings of anger, anxiety, or depressive thoughts—like hopelessness or meaninglessness. Our rumination may also be about the future—worrying about what might happen to ourselves or those we care about.
In order to get out of this mode of thinking, we need to “ground” ourselves in the present moment.
Grounding is the first step of mindfulness. When we are grounded in awareness of the present we aren’t overwhelmed with rumination on the past, or worries about the future. Further, when we are grounded we may delay our reactions (that is, we stop acting automatically or impulsively without thinking rationally), and we may stop ourselves from automatically engaging with or identifying with all of our thoughts and emotions. Grounding gets us to a place where we can examine our thoughts more objectively to see if they might be irrational, or self-defeating.
To quickly ground yourself in the present moment, try to bring your attention to:
5 things you can see.
4 things you can feel.
3 things you can hear.
2 things you can smell; or think of two things you like to do or are looking forward to.
1 thing you can taste; or think of one thing you like about yourself.
After performing this exercise you are more likely to be able to take a “decentered” perspective on your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. In other words, you can look at them like an objective or scientific outside observer would. From this perspective you can choose to simply allow your thoughts to pass like a cloud in the sky (by delaying your reaction to them and not engaging with them or identifying with them), or, if they occur frequently, you may choose to challenge the underlying beliefs or assumptions that cause them to arise (see: common thinking errors).
4 in / 6 out breathing
Deep, intentional breathing is another way to ground yourself in the present moment. 4 in / 6 out breathing can activate your parasympathetic nervous system (the nervous system that is involved in relaxation and digestion), which slows your heart rate, decreases your blood pressure, and slows the release of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. After just a few minutes of 4 in / 6 out breathing you may start to notice that your stress or anxiety is decreasing, and that you are better able to think calmly and rationally.
- Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds. If your nasal passages are congested you may breathe in through your mouth, however, it is best to breathe through your nose if you can. (Breathing through your nose humidifies and warms the air much more than breathing through your mouth, and you lose less moisture to the external environment.)
- Exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds. If you find it hard to exhale for a full 6 seconds, try pursing your lips like you are using a straw to limit the amount of air you exhale.